Foreign Weapons and Obscure Builds V3

Howard Law

Fast306stang

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Can you file a police report?
The last time, my dad spent 24 hours in jail, intimidated the lawyer to get all the charges dropped and get the restraining order lifted. All within the first week.. Then he was angry with a vengeance at everybody. It was worse.

If that same thing happens again this time, he'll probably kill my mom, maybe even some of us.
 

Grunk

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The last time, my dad spent 24 hours in jail, intimidated the lawyer to get all the charges dropped and get the restraining order lifted. All within the first week.. Then he was angry with a vengeance at everybody. It was worse.

If that same thing happens again this time, he'll probably kill my mom, maybe even some of us.
I hate it's come to this, but it sounds like you need to start a family court evaluation. Court ordered psychologists usually see those intimidation tactics like he used on the lawyer over the restraining order as further evidence of mental instability. It will make you the bad guy in your mom's & brother's eyes but may save her a painful experience.

No good way out of this one. i'm sorry, but i've been there, done that & you have to decide what you can live with. Your mom being mad at you for maybe the rest of her life or getting that phone call about your mom being in the hospital.

For me it wasn't my mom, but an aunt. I Got her husband committed as unsafe to himself & his family Neither she nor her kids (my cousins) ever spoke to me again, but noboby wound up beaten to a bloody pulp. To me, that was a situation I could live with & still look at myself in the mirror.

You've got my number, call if you want to talk.
 

Red Dawn

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I've never seen anyone so full of hate and anger and won't get divorce papers and my mom won't move out.

Today she had a cut on one side of her face and a bruise on the other where his thumb bruised her and his fingernails cut her when he grabbed her face and shoved her, my mom is 5' and maybe 100 pounds.

Why wouldn’t she get the cops to put a TPO on his ass and make him leave and stay away from her.
 

Grunk

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Why wouldn’t she get the cops to put a TPO on his ass and make him leave and stay away from her.
Unfortunately, a lot of women in these situations think it can be worked out & "can't imagine" living without the man they love.

In my aunt's case mentioned above, i knew how to push her asshole husband's buttons & actually got him to attack me in the courtroom. That pretty much sealed the deal (as well as let me bust out his front teeth on the lawyer's table :)).
 

Red Dawn

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TPO works about as good as a n95 mask is the chirp on the street

Maybe but it would be double duty building a case for a judge to help her see he’s no good for her. She definitely needs intervention to open her eyes she’s worth more than that and doesn’t have to put up with his crap.
 

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Maybe but it would be double duty building a case for a judge to help her see he’s no good for her. She definitely needs intervention to open her eyes she’s worth more than that and doesn’t have to put up with his crap.
Prob right but I've known a few women that will not go against their partner for the fear of getting killed when their partner gets out of jail. They would even spend their own funds to help the POS with commissary money, pay their bond and get them out of jail plus drop charges, even though the state may not drop them.

It's a bad situation for all
 

Fast306stang

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Why wouldn’t she get the cops to put a TPO on his ass and make him leave and stay away from her.
She's not an angry person and wouldn't do that to him. She also is from Japan and if you know oriental women, they have this stigma about "This isn't my country, not my language" and they feel like Americans might not take her side I guess.

The retraining order last time meant she got kicked out of "her house" and she was adamant that she had every right to go back. Which I understand but I think the dementia makes her hard headed to a fault. She doesn't think clearly anymore, it's not bad all the time but I know she's tried to jump out of a moving car bc she didn't think she would get hurt and she left my brother's house to walk 11 miles home when the restraining order was active. Luckily my brother's neighbor picked her up and called Chris and brought her back, she had walked out while we were grilling on the back porch.

She is very adamant about it's "her house" and she doesn't feel like she should have to leave, and I guess doesn't think he will actually kill her. He's told perfect strangers that he would kill her without a 2nd thought.

I have an entire unused upstairs with a full bath she could move in but she won't listen to me bc she thinks it would be a burden.
 

Grunk

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Maybe but it would be double duty building a case for a judge to help her see he’s no good for her. She definitely needs intervention to open her eyes she’s worth more than that and doesn’t have to put up with his crap.
@Red Dawn is right. If you're not ready to go the family court route yet, file as many TPO's as you can. Even if she doesn't hold him to them by calling the cops, the paper trail is useful in family court/ divorce proceedings.
 

Fast306stang

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Maybe but it would be double duty building a case for a judge to help her see he’s no good for her. She definitely needs intervention to open her eyes she’s worth more than that and doesn’t have to put up with his crap.
She definitely needs an intervention, they both do. He is losing his sanity in a different way than she is. He's on a mission to trap stray cats and save them, they have 10 INDOOR FERAL cats and he won't let my mom walk outside without asking permission bc he has to guard the door to make sure no one escapes. He has built cat traps and has them stacked in his garage. He won't leave the house for more than 2 hours at a time bc he has to go home to check on them...

I understand the dynamics psychologically that caused this, my dad has abandonment issues bc his dad left when he was a kid and died young from cancer, his mom was his savior and died young from cancer, he was a foster child who was abused, then he got drafted into the military and hated every minute of it. I get it but at some time as an adult you have to get past your childhood and make your own choices and be your own person. He has always had that asshole side of him but he seemed to be upstanding and holding it all together until he got into his middle 60s. Now every year he becomes worse and worse...
 
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Red Dawn

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She's not an angry person and wouldn't do that to him. She also is from Japan and if you know oriental women, they have this stigma about "This isn't my country, not my language" and they feel like Americans might not take her side I guess.

The retraining order last time meant she got kicked out of "her house" and she was adamant that she had every right to go back. Which I understand but I think the dementia makes her hard headed to a fault. She doesn't think clearly anymore, it's not bad all the time but I know she's tried to jump out of a moving car bc she didn't think she would get hurt and she left my brother's house to walk 11 miles home when the restraining order was active. Luckily my brother's neighbor picked her up and called Chris and brought her back, she had walked out while we were grilling on the back porch.

She is very adamant about it's "her house" and she doesn't feel like she should have to leave, and I guess doesn't think he will actually kill her. He's told perfect strangers that he would kill her without a 2nd thought.

I have an entire unused upstairs with a full bath she could move in but she won't listen to me bc she thinks it would be a burden.

I’m trying to put myself in the situation to think what’s the best route to take but you have done exactly that. My first thought was get her the heck outta there and into your house but truthfully that’s her house she should be able to stay and feel safe there. She also needs 24hr monitoring with the dementia and he’s not that monitor she needs. What about a battered women’s clinic like Rescue Mission maybe they could help her see clearer with some Al-Anon education
 

Fast306stang

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I’m trying to put myself in the situation to think what’s the best route to take but you have done exactly that. My first thought was get her the heck outta there and into your house but truthfully that’s her house she should be able to stay and feel safe there. She also needs 24hr monitoring with the dementia and he’s not that monitor she needs. What about a battered women’s clinic like Rescue Mission maybe they could help her see clearer with some Al-Anon education

I'll have to check into that and see, that's honestly something I have not thought of. I wonder how they can get her out of there and separated from him. That's the issue I have also...no way to get her, she doesn't drive and can't leave the house unless he takes her